SMUG!!

If you could see my face right now, you would know the meaning of happiness. I am living and fulfilling a dream that has been so very important to me. Have you ever keenly observed a butterfly? A butterfly, whatever colour or shape it may be, is a beautiful creature who is always in a state of revelation, who flutters from flower to flower discovering something new at every instant. I feel like one such butterfly right now, discovering new facets of life and constantly learning about new subjects, from networking to electronics and even new languages, I cannot explain the feeling of euphoria I experience when I learn something on my own, or I devise a new idea or plan that has originated from the depths of my own mind. Today, I was to come up with an idea as to how to setup an experiment that would end up as an analogy to the working of a Cmos inverter. I had to use the apparatus of a water tank and pipes. I thought of an idea at first, and then tried to improve upon its drawbacks so that by the time I was done with it, it would be perfect, it would be a work of art. Devising that small experiment took up the time I usually invested in a walk, but my mind would not be satisfied till I had come up with a good plan. I discarded idea after idea till I came up with a setup that would suit the circuit perfectly. It was then that I realized the power of a human mind, I realized that every person has a mind that is capable of genuine creativity, if only every one of us expected the best from ourselves. I guess it is our expectations that ultimately decide our destiny. There is so much knowledge in the world and I am in the presence of people who expect the best from themselves here and there is nothing more exhilarating than knowing and believing that you can do whatever you set your mind to. There is nothing more fulfilling than wandering around in the hallways of science, examining and questioning different mysteries, many of them explored and explained by men, men who dared to question even the invisible lines of force that exist between charges. I admire these men but I am not awed by them anymore because they aren't as great as we have made them out to be. Yes, I dare to say that aloud. Every scientist you grew up learning about, every man whose name you read on the pages of your history book, every man you worshiped, every hero you idolized, they are not out of the world, they are not extraordinary. In fact they are normal men, they represent the common man, what is extraordinary is that we differentiate ourselves from them, we expect more from them then we do from ourselves. Why is that so? I agree that not all of us are blessed with intelligence but we all have some spark of creativity within us that is yours alone, and that spark cannot be dimmed by the sparkling glory of even the most brilliant mind. But the knowledge that is most important for every man is the knowledge of self awareness. There is nothing more important than understanding yourself, your every talent should have a pedestal, even though you are the only worshipper. Every quirky habit of yours has a sweet and unique taste, one that should be first understood and recognised by you. Your strengths and weaknesses are your own, embrace them and use them such that you are admired for your strengths and indulged and adored for your weaknesses. Wake up my friends, look within yourselves, you may find a scientist, or a writer, a leader, or a philosopher, or you may just find an individual happy to be himself, a butterfly enchanted by the world and delighted to just ponder upon the wonders in our lives.

Imagine there's no country, Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace

What pulls us all as human beings? What arouses us to commit fatal errors and glorious achievements? What arouses our passions?
These questions have been aroused in my mind by a book I am reading currently, it is called "Redemption" and the author is Leon Uris. In this book he has explored the bond between an Irishman and his motherland, and has portrayed that a person is bound to his/her motherland by invisible chains and that even though a person may try to escape and break those bonds, he will stick to his roots until his last breath. The story includes a man called Connor, a man who has great strength of character,who knows the value of honor, whose every action glows with the aura of a talent that is exceptional but also radiant with his personal charisma. His persona is enough to inspire confidence,love and glory. What then does such a man have to grieve for?
One thing that was denied to Connor by his father was the freedom that he craved for, and so he broke away to follow his destiny. On the other hand, his younger brother who craved the attention of his father and ached to fill the void left behind by Connor was treated with disdain and he ran away too. The old man was left with a broken heart because he failed to understand his sons and his sons were left with a legacy that compelled them to despise all that their father stood for and yet love him with an intensity that confused them. Its a saga that will leave you contemplating and cursing men whose erroneous decisions lead to unhappiness that extends to further generations.
The other element in the story that provoked my thoughts was the passions of these men, passions towards their motherland, passions towards their women. Connor, for eg. was a man who loved his motherland, but tragedies compelled him to leave Ireland to escape the ghosts of his past. He ran, but couldn't stay away for long and returned home. But this is Connor before he fell madly in love. For when he fell in love, he gave everything. Yes, the love of Connor and his sweetheart was enough to inspire all those around them and to personify the purity, depth, and understanding that love stood for. It was a love worthy of the likes of Connor and Shelley, who both were like warriors, brave and tender, strong and noble, glorious and humble. They deserved to live in joy, but the rebellion in Ireland drove them apart. So ultimately, they both became martyrs and were immortalized but the future of Connor and Shelley remained a dream
What binds us this way to a piece of land? Why should anyone be expected to give up their lives and happiness in the name of a country or religion? Is there truly any need for sacrifice among men? What do these borders between countries stand for? If the men brave enough to die on those very borders were allowed to live and work for mankind, imagine the accomplishments they could achieve; if only they were allowed to hope instead of facing the despair of death. Because these are the men who dislike sitting around and waiting for others to take lead, they are ready to face the consequences of their actions. When men like Connor enter the battlefield, its because they have a conscience that compels them to take action rather than wait backstage for the drama to play out.

The borders between countries were erected because of the differences among the people, if these differences were accepted and embraced, and all men lived to achieve happiness, would there still be anything to fight for? But there are downfalls to this theory because men have begun to have a natural flair to cheat a fellow human out of his rights.
We need to savor our freedom and recognize the right of another man to savor his. We need to erect boundaries not between countries but between individuals, so that no man can ever have the audacity to violate another. We need to stop evaluating the economies of the countries and start evaluating ourselves. God save us if all the Connor's of this world are sacrificed, for who will inspire us then?

A letter sprinkled with the magic dust of heaven

I received my first letter today, miles away from my friends. I am living in a place where the native language is as unknown to me as the depths of the ocean, where the people live a different lifestyle from the one that I know and their thinking is equally apart from mine. But what binds me to the people here is the love of knowledge, a knowledge we aspire to achieve not by just reading books, but by analysing every aspect of life that we have understood and taken for granted till now. But I will talk about that some other day.
Today I just want to revel in the feeling of being loved, being loved by a person whom I love equally. I am talking about a friend of mine, a friend who is crazy, sweet, downright audacious, stupefyingly witty and dangerously perceptive. I received a letter from him today (yes, a letter – the one that you write by hand and send through the post office), the feeling of surprise was soon overcome by a feeling of warmth that enveloped me as I opened his letter and saw his handwriting. At that moment, even if a catastrophe would have occurred in my vicinity, I would have cheerfully smiled my way through it. I could not stop smiling as I envisioned his face and read his words, his wicked smile and his twinkling eyes brought back to me the moments I spent just trying to understand the devilish schemes cooking in that ever-active mind. The “King of Angmar” had deigned to send me a letter and I was as pleased as a cat who had been given an everlasting supply of milk!!!
How can I describe the relationship I share with this magnificient specimen of a human being? His thoughts will provoke you, inspire you and most of the times they will make you want to burst with laughter and mirth. His principles are strong, his thoughts are uniquely different and fresh and its a pleasure to argue with him, to pit my mind against his, all the while knowing that both of us are as stubborn as mules and will not give in.
His letters and messages and calls transform me to a plane where I can revel in my joy for an indefinite amount of time. Small gestures like this make my life worth living. i just want to tell all my friends and loved ones, that all my hard work, all my sincerity, every thought and every flash of discovery in my mind, I dedicate all this to you, because all I want is to be happy, and my happiness lies in you. I am doing my duty as a person by follwing my dreams, I am doing my duty as a student by working hard, and I am sure as hell trying to do my duty as a friend by aspiring to earn your respect and love as a friend. Coz you deserve to have as your friends only the best people in the world, and that is what I aspire to be. I miss you all every day and I hope you know that my life is dedicated to treasuring the gems that I have collected along life's mysterious paths. You are one of these gems, shine on me, you crazy diamonds.........Love you guys.
PS: Tubby, you are the best fried a girl could have! Your words have burst in my mind like delightful fire crackers sparkling with such an intensity that I am sure this glow will not fade as long as I have you in my life. Love you dude!!! Keep smiling.

A Table for Two

I have this inherent ability, such that varied thoughts keep entering and leaving my mind, and I am always in a whirl, with my emotions varying as fast as the the colors of a chameleon. Love has given my life an entirely new perspective.
Imagine waking up early morning, watching the sunrise while sipping a cup of your favorite filter coffee. Then going to work to a place where everyone loves you, and you love everyone. Imagine the bone deep satisfaction of doing your job well, of doing something creative that is beneficial to the world. Imagine going home to a playful, loving family and living in a dream house that you helped build. Evening walks on the beach with a golden Labrador, who looks like a streak of sunbeam blazing across the sand, would be an integral part of your day. Imagine the amount of happiness and satisfaction you would feel just before you closed your eyes and went to sleep. Put all this happiness in to a bubble and try, just try to measure it. That is the amount of joy I feel when i see my boyfriend's smile. When i see his face light up with laughter and his eyes look tenderly at me, i feel all the world fade away. Every silly joke I tell, every funny and quirky habit of mine, all my hard work, every tune I compose, every song I sing, earns me a reward more precious to me than anything in the world. I had never thought that one person's smile would mean so much, but it does. Love has given me a peaceful, easy feeling that would remain with me through everything.
A cool breeze wafted cheerful tidings into my ears as i dressed my best, leaving my home for a romantic evening with a handsome young man. I walked for a while, then took a cab to our meeting place. He came armed with a smile to melt my heart and flowers to captivate my soul. We walked, hand in hand to the restaurant and argued about who would pay the bill. I finally gave in (for the first time) and we declared peace, sealed with a kiss! (hehehhe)
We asked for a table for two, and he opened the door for me, the door to the most romantic place I have ever been to! It was dim, with small lights on the ceiling casting a light glow on the room. We sat down, and the waiter greeted us with the satisfaction of knowing that a good sum of money would be extracted from us by the time we got done with dinner! But for the first time, we didn't care. I looked into his eyes and I saw the beautiful soul of the man I love. Our relationship, our bond, our friendship, our joy made the whole room so much more beautiful, so much more magical, and I told him so. There is one thing that I love about my sweetheart, he is so warm that even when I am almost freezing in a room where the temperature is dangerously low, his body remains as warm as if he is sitting beside a fireplace and is as cozy as a bug in a rug. I can hold his hand for hours and feel his warmth seep through my skin, it feels like heaven.
It was one of the most beautiful evenings of my life, and the food was delicious! The music was like the chirping of birds in the wood, inconspicuous and yet so beautiful and soothing. At that moment, if you could have gauged my joy in terms of music, you would have heard a symphony so true that it would have melted your heart too.
Well, sorry to disappoint the food lovers but there was no room for desert in our stomachs so we just topped off the evening with a walk by the sea. I think i fell in love with my man all over again today! I think I am truly getting nauseatingly mushy so I had better sign off with a warm hug to all out there...........Keep Smiling.

The plight of a mother

My dad is the Deputy superintendent of his hospital and hence quite a variety of people come to our home for advice or suggestions. This weekend, in the morning I opened the door to find an old lady asking for my dad. I replied to her that my dad was sleeping (he takes his time to get up on Sundays) and hearing that, she then asked for my mom (who is also a doctor and would be able to assist her as well). I called my mom and stood aside wondering at what peril had brought the old lady to my house at 7.30 am in the morning. I soon came to know.......
The old lady told my mom that she needed a death certificate. She said it in a casual manner which brought a chill to my bones and truly startled me. But I should have seen the grief behind the casual facade, because after saying that one statement, the old lady broke down into tears. It was as if she had promised herself to be calm while fulfilling her duties to her dead loved one, but I guess she realized the finality of her statement and couldn't control the flood of emotions that threatened her senses.
And what mother could have? For it was her daughter who had passed on leaving her behind to face the sorrow of loneliness that is inevitable after the departure of a loved one. She wept as she told us that her daughter had become skin and bone due to her ailment and that she had not been able to even consume water. Her voice was heavy with grief, her shoulders bent, her eyes wet and I saw her pain, heard it, but I could not think of a single thing to say. And I realized that she just wanted to be heard and so we remained silent and acknowledged her pain, her courage and silently prayed for her daughter and her family.
The old lady left after a while but not before she had left an indelible print on my mind. I wondered, and i wondered....
Imagine the pain of seeing a loved one fade right in front of your eyes, imagine seeing your beloved experience pain without being able to do anything about it because everyone told you there was nothing else left to do. Imagine the ache in your heart when your beloved is forced to give up food and drink and cannot intake anything and all you can do is hold her hand and pray. You feel so helpless and angry that someone you love is suffering, that this person that you love hasn't committed any error to suffer this way but was inflicted by disease either by accident or bad luck or just randomly. God, I swear I just couldn't stop thinking about it............
I just want to dedicate this small space on my blog, and a large space in my heart to all those who have lost loved ones..........please be strong because when you feel pain, i see it and feel it too, maybe not as much as you do, but enough to know how it feels, enough to care, enough to admire all those who pick up their lives and move on after horrendous losses, enough................
God bless you all.

Dear mother, when you cry,
and your eyes brim with sorrow;
Dear mother, when you weep,
for those who will not see tomorrow,
I ache inside and wonder
at the injustice of it all,
I grow angry at your loss
for you deserve much more than this grief laden upon your soul.
For who will ease those lonely nights,
that you spend reliving the past?
Who will caress and calm your agitated soul,
when all are asleep but for you, the nights don't seem to pass.
And one day you'll look back after the daily chores of the day are done,
and you'll see how everyone around you has changed;
All of a sudden they will all seem strangers,
and you will look at yourself and wonder when you were left behind.
But i hope you don't surrender,
I hope you achieve peace,
God, i hope i can see your smile again,
Radiant as it once was, shining down upon me.