I have this inherent ability, such that varied thoughts keep entering and leaving my mind, and I am always in a whirl, with my emotions varying as fast as the the colors of a chameleon. Love has given my life an entirely new perspective.
Imagine waking up early morning, watching the sunrise while sipping a cup of your favorite filter coffee. Then going to work to a place where everyone loves you, and you love everyone. Imagine the bone deep satisfaction of doing your job well, of doing something creative that is beneficial to the world. Imagine going home to a playful, loving family and living in a dream house that you helped build. Evening walks on the beach with a golden Labrador, who looks like a streak of sunbeam blazing across the sand, would be an integral part of your day. Imagine the amount of happiness and satisfaction you would feel just before you closed your eyes and went to sleep. Put all this happiness in to a bubble and try, just try to measure it. That is the amount of joy I feel when i see my boyfriend's smile. When i see his face light up with laughter and his eyes look tenderly at me, i feel all the world fade away. Every silly joke I tell, every funny and quirky habit of mine, all my hard work, every tune I compose, every song I sing, earns me a reward more precious to me than anything in the world. I had never thought that one person's smile would mean so much, but it does. Love has given me a peaceful, easy feeling that would remain with me through everything.
A cool breeze wafted cheerful tidings into my ears as i dressed my best, leaving my home for a romantic evening with a handsome young man. I walked for a while, then took a cab to our meeting place. He came armed with a smile to melt my heart and flowers to captivate my soul. We walked, hand in hand to the restaurant and argued about who would pay the bill. I finally gave in (for the first time) and we declared peace, sealed with a kiss! (hehehhe)
We asked for a table for two, and he opened the door for me, the door to the most romantic place I have ever been to! It was dim, with small lights on the ceiling casting a light glow on the room. We sat down, and the waiter greeted us with the satisfaction of knowing that a good sum of money would be extracted from us by the time we got done with dinner! But for the first time, we didn't care. I looked into his eyes and I saw the beautiful soul of the man I love. Our relationship, our bond, our friendship, our joy made the whole room so much more beautiful, so much more magical, and I told him so. There is one thing that I love about my sweetheart, he is so warm that even when I am almost freezing in a room where the temperature is dangerously low, his body remains as warm as if he is sitting beside a fireplace and is as cozy as a bug in a rug. I can hold his hand for hours and feel his warmth seep through my skin, it feels like heaven.
It was one of the most beautiful evenings of my life, and the food was delicious! The music was like the chirping of birds in the wood, inconspicuous and yet so beautiful and soothing. At that moment, if you could have gauged my joy in terms of music, you would have heard a symphony so true that it would have melted your heart too.
Well, sorry to disappoint the food lovers but there was no room for desert in our stomachs so we just topped off the evening with a walk by the sea. I think i fell in love with my man all over again today! I think I am truly getting nauseatingly mushy so I had better sign off with a warm hug to all out there...........Keep Smiling.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
The plight of a mother
My dad is the Deputy superintendent of his hospital and hence quite a variety of people come to our home for advice or suggestions. This weekend, in the morning I opened the door to find an old lady asking for my dad. I replied to her that my dad was sleeping (he takes his time to get up on Sundays) and hearing that, she then asked for my mom (who is also a doctor and would be able to assist her as well). I called my mom and stood aside wondering at what peril had brought the old lady to my house at 7.30 am in the morning. I soon came to know.......
The old lady told my mom that she needed a death certificate. She said it in a casual manner which brought a chill to my bones and truly startled me. But I should have seen the grief behind the casual facade, because after saying that one statement, the old lady broke down into tears. It was as if she had promised herself to be calm while fulfilling her duties to her dead loved one, but I guess she realized the finality of her statement and couldn't control the flood of emotions that threatened her senses.
And what mother could have? For it was her daughter who had passed on leaving her behind to face the sorrow of loneliness that is inevitable after the departure of a loved one. She wept as she told us that her daughter had become skin and bone due to her ailment and that she had not been able to even consume water. Her voice was heavy with grief, her shoulders bent, her eyes wet and I saw her pain, heard it, but I could not think of a single thing to say. And I realized that she just wanted to be heard and so we remained silent and acknowledged her pain, her courage and silently prayed for her daughter and her family.
The old lady left after a while but not before she had left an indelible print on my mind. I wondered, and i wondered....
Imagine the pain of seeing a loved one fade right in front of your eyes, imagine seeing your beloved experience pain without being able to do anything about it because everyone told you there was nothing else left to do. Imagine the ache in your heart when your beloved is forced to give up food and drink and cannot intake anything and all you can do is hold her hand and pray. You feel so helpless and angry that someone you love is suffering, that this person that you love hasn't committed any error to suffer this way but was inflicted by disease either by accident or bad luck or just randomly. God, I swear I just couldn't stop thinking about it............
I just want to dedicate this small space on my blog, and a large space in my heart to all those who have lost loved ones..........please be strong because when you feel pain, i see it and feel it too, maybe not as much as you do, but enough to know how it feels, enough to care, enough to admire all those who pick up their lives and move on after horrendous losses, enough................
God bless you all.
Dear mother, when you cry,
and your eyes brim with sorrow;
Dear mother, when you weep,
for those who will not see tomorrow,
I ache inside and wonder
at the injustice of it all,
I grow angry at your loss
for you deserve much more than this grief laden upon your soul.
For who will ease those lonely nights,
that you spend reliving the past?
Who will caress and calm your agitated soul,
when all are asleep but for you, the nights don't seem to pass.
And one day you'll look back after the daily chores of the day are done,
and you'll see how everyone around you has changed;
All of a sudden they will all seem strangers,
and you will look at yourself and wonder when you were left behind.
But i hope you don't surrender,
I hope you achieve peace,
God, i hope i can see your smile again,
Radiant as it once was, shining down upon me.
The old lady told my mom that she needed a death certificate. She said it in a casual manner which brought a chill to my bones and truly startled me. But I should have seen the grief behind the casual facade, because after saying that one statement, the old lady broke down into tears. It was as if she had promised herself to be calm while fulfilling her duties to her dead loved one, but I guess she realized the finality of her statement and couldn't control the flood of emotions that threatened her senses.
And what mother could have? For it was her daughter who had passed on leaving her behind to face the sorrow of loneliness that is inevitable after the departure of a loved one. She wept as she told us that her daughter had become skin and bone due to her ailment and that she had not been able to even consume water. Her voice was heavy with grief, her shoulders bent, her eyes wet and I saw her pain, heard it, but I could not think of a single thing to say. And I realized that she just wanted to be heard and so we remained silent and acknowledged her pain, her courage and silently prayed for her daughter and her family.
The old lady left after a while but not before she had left an indelible print on my mind. I wondered, and i wondered....
Imagine the pain of seeing a loved one fade right in front of your eyes, imagine seeing your beloved experience pain without being able to do anything about it because everyone told you there was nothing else left to do. Imagine the ache in your heart when your beloved is forced to give up food and drink and cannot intake anything and all you can do is hold her hand and pray. You feel so helpless and angry that someone you love is suffering, that this person that you love hasn't committed any error to suffer this way but was inflicted by disease either by accident or bad luck or just randomly. God, I swear I just couldn't stop thinking about it............
I just want to dedicate this small space on my blog, and a large space in my heart to all those who have lost loved ones..........please be strong because when you feel pain, i see it and feel it too, maybe not as much as you do, but enough to know how it feels, enough to care, enough to admire all those who pick up their lives and move on after horrendous losses, enough................
God bless you all.
Dear mother, when you cry,
and your eyes brim with sorrow;
Dear mother, when you weep,
for those who will not see tomorrow,
I ache inside and wonder
at the injustice of it all,
I grow angry at your loss
for you deserve much more than this grief laden upon your soul.
For who will ease those lonely nights,
that you spend reliving the past?
Who will caress and calm your agitated soul,
when all are asleep but for you, the nights don't seem to pass.
And one day you'll look back after the daily chores of the day are done,
and you'll see how everyone around you has changed;
All of a sudden they will all seem strangers,
and you will look at yourself and wonder when you were left behind.
But i hope you don't surrender,
I hope you achieve peace,
God, i hope i can see your smile again,
Radiant as it once was, shining down upon me.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Ignorance is bliss???
I saw the movie "An Inconvenient Truth" with my dad the other day and it shocked the hell out of me. What stunned me was not the extent of global warming, i already had an idea about that (though it worried me) but what truly saddened me was that people have the ability to disregard what they consider trivial or unimportant or anything that does not affect them at that moment.
Al Gore said in the movie that he thought that with statistics, information and his teacher's knowledge he would be able to convince Congress of the gravity of the situation. He thought that they would make a new discovery and help the world to become a much better place. But he was wrong, they did not believe him............. You should have heard the sadness in his voice when he said that. It was like he had suddenly woken up to the fact that failure was a word in most people's dictionary. Up till then, i don't think he had even thought about failing.
Imagine the frustration of being called an emotional fool, when all you are trying to do is make the world a better place to live in.
I felt his pain, i felt his frustration and i felt like calling the world a bunch of fools. So many wasted years behind a cause that people should have woken up to a few decades ago. So many wasted years by a brilliant man, whose efforts would have and should have given the world so many other achievements, but all of these years and all of this talent has gone into trying to make people open their eyes to the truth. What a waste!! What a shame for mankind! I wonder what a man like that should ask from the world for all of the years he spent trying to save them, but most importantly i wonder what we would give him?.....
The greatness of this man shines through the fact that he yet hasn't given up. He is still relentlessly giving seminars in all parts of the world and working for a cause so unimportant that our future may depend on it. But of course, what else can you expect from an emotional fool, right????
Al Gore said in the movie that he thought that with statistics, information and his teacher's knowledge he would be able to convince Congress of the gravity of the situation. He thought that they would make a new discovery and help the world to become a much better place. But he was wrong, they did not believe him............. You should have heard the sadness in his voice when he said that. It was like he had suddenly woken up to the fact that failure was a word in most people's dictionary. Up till then, i don't think he had even thought about failing.
Imagine the frustration of being called an emotional fool, when all you are trying to do is make the world a better place to live in.
I felt his pain, i felt his frustration and i felt like calling the world a bunch of fools. So many wasted years behind a cause that people should have woken up to a few decades ago. So many wasted years by a brilliant man, whose efforts would have and should have given the world so many other achievements, but all of these years and all of this talent has gone into trying to make people open their eyes to the truth. What a waste!! What a shame for mankind! I wonder what a man like that should ask from the world for all of the years he spent trying to save them, but most importantly i wonder what we would give him?.....
The greatness of this man shines through the fact that he yet hasn't given up. He is still relentlessly giving seminars in all parts of the world and working for a cause so unimportant that our future may depend on it. But of course, what else can you expect from an emotional fool, right????
Monday, June 16, 2008
WooooooooooooHoooooooooooooooo
Guess what?? My dream came true! I went to Matheran with a couple of friends and my dearest boyfriend!! It was heaven!! We walked all the way up the mountain (approximately 8 kilometers) to Matheran! At times we searched for our own routes and climbed some parts of the mountain! I felt like an adventuress out to conquer the mountainous terrain!!! Awesome fun!! When we reached Matheran though, it started raining heavily and the hotel we had booked in didn't have running water as their motor shut down due to the rains! So our little group trudged through the rains and had a hot lunch which immediately soothed our weary, drenched and shivering (but still cheerful) souls. It was one heck of an experience! By the time we finally managed to find appropriate rooms, the better part of the day had passed us by! But we were warm and cozy, and we had a really good view and a crazy company. In short we continued to have a blast!!
We spent 2 days in an atmosphere full of fresh air and spunky jokes and then made our way downhill today morning. I just soaked in the cool air, the unpredictable rain, the prevailing fog and an adventure i had ached to be a part of. I felt so free that i was able to analyze every thought in my head, every dream in my mind, every sparkle of mischief in my imagination, every twinkle in the eyes of my amazing friends, every little mystery of nature, and all that makes life worth living. I have come back to the city today and i felt sad saying goodbye to Matheran but i feel like i have gone through a cleansing, a cleansing of my spirit, and i feel rejuvenated and at peace!
At one point when we were coming downhill, we just sat at the edge of a hill and gazed down at the valley below and thanked god for reminding us how lucky we are, to see and feel nature in a way that is enough to make anyone feel an inner sense of peace! We wondered and marveled at the beauty of the mountains before us, the calmness of the environment around us, the caressing sounds of the trees as if they were trying to soothe all your pains and sorrows, the simplicity of the people living in and near the hill station, and while i was looking and feeling these things i realized that unhappiness is so unnecessary and that we can deal with it by considering it to be trivial and temporary, coz there are so many beautiful people to meet and so many places to explore!! So, i decided that i don't really have time to be sad, every day of my life is packed with action and romance and every moment is a opportunity to discover new and exciting doorways that ultimately lead to joy!!
I would be glad if you would tell me about any adventures you have had!! Stay beautiful and keep smiling!!
We spent 2 days in an atmosphere full of fresh air and spunky jokes and then made our way downhill today morning. I just soaked in the cool air, the unpredictable rain, the prevailing fog and an adventure i had ached to be a part of. I felt so free that i was able to analyze every thought in my head, every dream in my mind, every sparkle of mischief in my imagination, every twinkle in the eyes of my amazing friends, every little mystery of nature, and all that makes life worth living. I have come back to the city today and i felt sad saying goodbye to Matheran but i feel like i have gone through a cleansing, a cleansing of my spirit, and i feel rejuvenated and at peace!
At one point when we were coming downhill, we just sat at the edge of a hill and gazed down at the valley below and thanked god for reminding us how lucky we are, to see and feel nature in a way that is enough to make anyone feel an inner sense of peace! We wondered and marveled at the beauty of the mountains before us, the calmness of the environment around us, the caressing sounds of the trees as if they were trying to soothe all your pains and sorrows, the simplicity of the people living in and near the hill station, and while i was looking and feeling these things i realized that unhappiness is so unnecessary and that we can deal with it by considering it to be trivial and temporary, coz there are so many beautiful people to meet and so many places to explore!! So, i decided that i don't really have time to be sad, every day of my life is packed with action and romance and every moment is a opportunity to discover new and exciting doorways that ultimately lead to joy!!
I would be glad if you would tell me about any adventures you have had!! Stay beautiful and keep smiling!!
Thursday, June 12, 2008
spoilsport!!
The rain has ruined all my holiday plans this year! I finally got permission from my parents to go to a hill station with my friends, but the early rains have caused such havoc that they will be inaccessible after this weekend! I was just aching to go somewhere this time. I just feel like releasing my soul into the great wide open.......... I just feel tired right now, tired of all things petty, tired of doing what everyone expects of me, tired of routine. I just wanna go crazy, i wanna stand on a hilltop and sing at the top of my voice, i wanna gaze at the stars for hours, i need to cleanse my soul, i need peace. I thought of even getting a tattoo done, but my budget created a barrier that could not be easily overcome! So, i played my keyboard for hours yesterday just trying to find a release, trying to find my wings to fly again to soar through the blue sky, to be free!!!
I just had a week where everyone around me was demanding to be pleased! Is there anything more irritating than explaining to people why you are the way you are, why you do the things you do??? GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE!!!
Thank god i have at least 2 people who always support me through everything, who never ask why i didn't call, why i am so careless etc etc. These 2 saviors are my saving grace and i just love them to pieces! Thank god for them!!! Take care all! Hope you have a great week ahead of you!!!
I just had a week where everyone around me was demanding to be pleased! Is there anything more irritating than explaining to people why you are the way you are, why you do the things you do??? GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE!!!
Thank god i have at least 2 people who always support me through everything, who never ask why i didn't call, why i am so careless etc etc. These 2 saviors are my saving grace and i just love them to pieces! Thank god for them!!! Take care all! Hope you have a great week ahead of you!!!
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